Thanx Deidre
Report Abuse
What advice would you give your child if you found out they had been sexually assaulted?
My sons were molested by a neighbour. It wasn't rape, more unwanted fondling, and a couple of inappropriate kisses.
My kids were very distressed and told me about it. We discussed it and decided not to prosecute, because the neighbour was very ill and old. He died within a few months.
Because my children didn't want a fuss made we supported them, let them talk and did not prosecute. I confronted my neighbour and threatened him with prosecution if he ever came near my kids or anyone else's again. I also spread the word - but we were the only family friendly with the old man. No one else liked him or went near him.
The neighbour died. Do I regret not prosecuting/getting counselling? I don't know - my sons have blocked it out and seem to have coped well, although my older son seems to have a distrust/dislike for the elderly and avoids them.
It was an unpleasant episode, However, it wasn't too serious and we moved on.
I do have friends whose daughters were sexually abused - in one case, by the grandfather, in another the step grandfather. It destroys whole families.
I would love my child, be supportive and get professional help.
I wouldn't give them advice, I would give them love, support, and the assurance that it was not their fault. I would leave advice to the counselor I would take them to because I know that even given my training with sexual victims, I could not be objective with my own child, I would be too emotional.
But I would be equally supportive of them, regardless of the situation or their gender. I have boys and girls.
I'm never having kids, but if I were the type to I'd hope I'd raised them well enough that they had trusted me and told me themselves.
If they felt they couldn't, and i found out some other way, I'd talk to them about it and try to reassure them that I wouldn't pressure them into anything and we'd handle it any way they wanted to.
Personally, knowing how the system is and how much torture victims go through without getting results that make it worthwhile, if I had a child who said they'd rather not go through the process, I'd allow that.
Other than trying to get them to talk to me about what happened, and following their lead with how far to take it, I really can't imagine what else I'd do. Can't even fathom what that's like for a parent.
There'd be a lot of prayer going on and hopefully I'd have enough control of myself to not just go and murder the one who did it to my child.
I would not give advice I would take action. If my daughter were sexually assaulted I would contact the police dept and have the person arrested, if he was not a stranger. I would insist they look for a stranger and alert the community. Then I would make sure she got a pregnancy test and tested for any std's. I would help her to find a support group that could help deal with the trauma. I would be as supportive as I could during a very difficult time for her.
I did not mean to imply that only females are sexually assaulted, but I don't have a son.
That would depend on a host of things: the nature of the assault, the circumstances under which the assault occurred, the relationship of the child to the perpetrator, the age of the child, etc. ';Your child'; is all you asked about; it could theoretically be an adult child.
Most victims of sexual assault suffer with symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder and there are specific therapeutic interventions of that like EMDR and CBT. Again, so many variables are at play its really difficult to pin down a one-size-fits-all answer for your question.
Then there remains the perpetrator: are they still alive or not? Can they be criminally prosecuted? How does the ';child'; feel about this?
I would first and foremost explain to them that they did NOTHING wrong..it wasn't their fault.
I would hug them (as tightly as I could)...listen to all that they had to say..and take them to the hospital to have a rape test done (DNA)..and have the hospital contact the police.
I wouldn't give them any advice but I'd tell them if they wanted to talk to me freely that I'm available anytime.
I would take them to a phsychiatrist and a doctor and get them all the help they need. Then I would find the pervert and kill him/her slowly and horribly.
That's too horrible to think about ... I guess if it happened then I would do the best I could to comfort and reassure my child. And any advice I gave would depend on their age at the time.
if you were to drunk to remember you were not sexually assaulted
JUST TALK TO HIM OPENLY, WITHOUT SHRINKS.
NEVER SHRINKS.
Hold on for a minute, while I call the police, then tell me everything.
BAH!!!!!!!111 you don't exist, i don't have children. You're imaginary.
i dunno
I'd give her candy, to show her that she needn't do anything ';icky'; to get it in the future
I'd go straight to a shrink and then to the cops.
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